Portfolio Reflective Letter

Life's:Poetry
I once was told u only live once
Do u believe angels walk
Could the blind c n their dreams
Or could a dream b the portal 2 our 2nd life
If u were anything what would u b
I would b the sun
My light would effect the entire world
Is it just a dream?
At times I think not
At others I struggle with my anointment
Does the Lord c my potential
Deep inside my faith is impenetrable
Yet my shallow flesh is the anvil of my inferiority
As I get older I get older
It is as though wisdom begets my complex
At times I just open my mouth
And as the Lord said he gives me the words 2 speak
Yet I've never spoken n tongue
Maybe I have & it came out n layman's terms
I've suffered through various addictions
And still battle with remorseful relapses
How could a bastard raise his own bastard?
RIP 2 Philip Morris
I know a woman is far from a bitch
But some r closer 2 a disease than Cookie Johnson
My dreams r filled with sacrilegious rederick
As I c my demons they show me my destiny
Distorted religion creates evil premonitions
I've had the honor of entertaining the company of many beautiful women
Yet my luvs' still abandoned & up 4 adoption
As music personifies through my veins
With all the necessary tools
I am without the 1 I need desperately
GOD
But everywhere I go I feel a presence I can't 6th sense
My friends & family become my pre-ordained enemies
Trust no1 becomes my religion
And I'm sub-consciously faithful
I have the ability 2 speak miracles n2 others lives
But I can't deliver myself from a common cold
I'm dying 4 something 2 live 4
What doesn't kill me only makes me live 4
I've heard everything happens 4 a reason & every time has its' season
And the Lord doesn't give u anything more than u can handle
So as the sun rises n the east & sets n the west
I'll stay vigilant until I fulfill my quest
My life is a poem named Life's:Poetry

As you can see coming into writing 101 I had an advantage. I have always had a passion for writing, I’ve been writing poetry for about 10 years. However, before I entered writing 101 my professional writing lacked structure. What I mean by structure is the writing that I wrote for work, school & any other venue that required professional forms of writing, my writing was in need of serious development. What I gained from my experience in writing 101 this quarter is how to take both points of views which is referred to as the "they say." And how to be able to insert my own point of view which is the referred to as the "I say." Also I’ve learned how to form a thesis statement about a topic that is interesting to me, & by using cited information being successful in effectively making an argument that could potentially open someone’s eyes to a more broad outlook.

The weaknesses I believe I had coming into writing 101 this quarter were. I feel that my writing lacked organization. What I mean by organization is my writing lacked constant focus on the main topic. My writing tended to bounce from subject to subject instead of effectively communicating a topic & using each paragraph to relate to what the thesis is. What I learned that helped me overcome this issue was by making a concise thesis statement I was forced to only select information that was pertinent to the topic. For example my 1st essay was titled, "The social epidemic of homelessness & the need for reform," With this being my thesis statement I was forced to only use information that could prove why I felt this was an epidemic in need of reform. Another weakness I had prior to taking writing 101 was topic development. My writing tended to be too shallow; I used to try to talk about everything about a topic instead of maintaining focus on just the topic at hand. What I learned that helped me overcome this issue was by outlining what the essay needed to consist of based on a concise thesis statement, it allowed me to cite the specific information that I needed to only. An example of this would be when the class was asked to choose a topic under the umbrella of "home" I selected homelessness, then we were asked to develop a thesis statement about the topic we selected & cite 3 articles about it. By 1st citing the information prior to writing the essay, it gave me a better understanding on how I wanted to structure my essay.

The strengths that I had prior to coming into writing 101 were mainly based upon my outside experience in writing, which included. Being an advent poetry writer I feel as though the way that I articulate a subject is one of my strengths. So translating that strength into professional writing didn’t give me too much of a problem. The way that I articulated the essay after I finally decided on an effective thesis statement I felt was good. An example of this is taken from my essay #2, the thesis was "The basic human rights of many are being taken away by the injustices of the federal government," in this essay I targeted the homeless population, & how the federal government has stopped concentrating on helping them, & how the federal government was in reality increasing the number of homeless Americans by where their attention was focused. Another strength that I had coming into writing 101 was the ability to translate facts to support what I believed. This is possible because I choose topics that interest me, I believe this is vital because if I choose a subject that I’m not interested in how can I effectively get the reader to be interested in reading something that I’m not feeling. An example of this would be, since the focus of this whole quarter has been the umbrella topic of home. I choose to address homelessness, which is a major social issue to me. So when it came to addressing what the advocates & the critics said on the issue, it was easy for me to take what I learned from both sides & insert my own point of view. However, the most important strength that I had coming into writing 101 this quarter was a genuine passion for writing. This made me an ample student; I devoted my attention towards everything that was taught & I implemented it into my work. In the beginning it was hard to lose the poetry structure of writing that I’m accustom to, but when I finally did my writing took on a whole new criteria. I can’t give an example of this, but I will offer you to look at my overall performance this quarter.

Portfolio Essay 2

A friend asked me a question as I gave a homeless gentleman holding a sign $5.00. The sign read, "I won’t lie, I need a beer," My friend asked me how could I give anybody money who clearly intended to use it to support their alcohol habits. He added to this by saying, "instead of begging for money on a corner, they should be out somewhere trying to get a job & a stable place to live." My response to my friends comment was, "what if the homeless individual had a disability, or some other handicap that prevented them from being productive members of society?" When I asked my friend this, I could see my friend’s entire demeanor change. He went from an individual with an obvious problem against homeless people, to an individual that looked like he wanted to donate everything he processed to help every homeless person he could. This conversation made me come to the conclusion that, "The basic human rights of many are being taken away by a the injustices of the federal government."

Let me paint a picture for you. Here is a some overwhelming evidence that I fell could of helped my friend to see how the federal government has abandoned the commitment to help the citizens that make the. Since the 1970’s the federal government has deemed thousands of governmental housing developments closed. But in actuality there are a lot of these developments that are still in livable condition. The reason that this information is pertinent to my argument is because in some instances the federal governments’ only rational for closing these developments was due to the communities out poor for better neighborhoods. The reality is that we as society have contributed to the elimination of some of the resources necessary to help prevent thousands of individuals from living on the streets. The idea that there is housing available that is/was funded by the federal government, & on a corner at the end of the same block there is a homeless man holding a sign such as the homeless man I encountered earlier in the introduction is a travesty. What does this say about our human rights? If my annual income or my social status somehow justifies the amount of rights I have as an American citizen, or better yet as a human being, then what is the point in having the U.S Constitution, or any of the numerous Amendments that have been established to prevent injustices such as these.

Maybe if I were to tell my friend about the different segments of the homeless population that are in need of the housing resources that are currently being eliminated by the federal government. He might get a clearer picture on how the housing resources that are being eliminated by the federal government are vital for preservation of our impoverished society. I would let him know that one of the most common segments of the homeless population is the individual’s that suffer from mental disorders. The most common mental disorder known of this segment is a disorder known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). This disorder in particular occurs when an individual suffers a major psychological event; such as the death of someone close to him or her, war, or any other event that could potentially be traumatizing to a person. However, PTSD is not the only mental disorder represented by the nation’s homeless population, disorders such as schizophrenia also cause a person not to function effectively in society. Schizophrenia is a psychological disorder that severely impairs a person’s thought processes, perceptions, & causes distorted beliefs. Shockingly, individuals like these are out on the streets with no housing or resources to help them survive. Another segment of the homeless population is the veterans of the nations armed forces. These particular veterans have served in the military, but for various reasons don’t receive the benefits that most veterans are offered. So in turn they are forced to live on the streets, while they are being processed for benefits, or refused benefits by the Federal Veterans Association (VA). Understanding that these segments only account for a portion of the overall population that is currently homeless. Not including the teen runaways that are running from sexually abusive environments, or the single parents that are forced to be homeless due to economic instability. Do you think that these the idea of these individuals would change his mind?

Here are few some more startling statistics I gathered to support the fact that the federal government is eliminating the housing resources that individuals need to help prevent them from being homeless. Or if they are currently homeless, the resources that could potentially help them get their chance at economic stability. According to statistics gathered by the Western Regional Advocacy Project the federal government in 1978 appropriated $83 billion dollars in the fiscal budget for maintaining affordable housing for the homeless population. As of 2005 the federal government only appropriated a total of $29 billion dollars, which is 65% less than 18 years prior. In other words, the finances that were allotted to help assist the increasing amount of homeless citizens on the streets has now been cut to less than 45% represented in the fiscal budget. Examples of these housing resources are sober houses, community housing, FEMA emergency shelter plans, HUD Continuum of care plans, ICH, & other programs that are targeted to help assist individuals that can’t obtain stability due to mental disorders. Another staggering fact is that as of 2005 the federal government spent $122 billion dollars on subsidies for the middle-class & affluent homeownership programs, in comparison to 1978 when the federal government only devoted $38 billion dollars, which is approximately $84 billion dollars more. This means that the federal government has directed most of their attention towards individuals/families with substantially higher incomes to receive more support than those who actually may need more assistance due to their deteriorating economic positions. To add insult to injury in 2004 61% of the subsidies that were allotted went to households that earned over $57,787.00, while only 20% went to households that earned less than $18,465.00. With a property threshold for households of 4, with 2 minor children was $19,157.00. Thus meaning that over 60% of the subsidies for housing went to households that made over $57,000 dollars, while households that made under $18,500 dollars only received 20% of the assistance, thus pushing more families into homelessness. I’m using these staggering statistics to help you better understand that since 1978 the federal government has cut many resources that could potentially provide housing for thousands of homeless individuals. As well as eliminating the resources that could potentially be preventative to the increasing amount of households that are currently being forced to make living on the streets a reality. These figures alone would help my friend to understand why I gave the homeless gentleman $5.00.

Maybe I’ve taken the subtle approach thus far. But the reality is that the federal government has abandoned the essential human rights of us; society. Let me give you the raw facts that should illustrate why I tried to open my friend’s eyes to the injustices of human rights that the federal government was doing in regards to the housing resources that are being eliminated. Since the 1970’s the federal government has required communities to summit competitive applications for federal largesse, giving the impression that this approach could effectively address the issue of homelessness with the grant amounts provided. However, in return for the grants giving, the feds would have to devote a majority of the money back to the federal government. This has to be one of the most underhanded, acts of betrayal I have ever heard. To think that while the federal government is writing these grants in intentions of redirecting the rise in homelessness, they’re secreting basing the approval of these grants contingent on receiving majority of the grant capital back. This is a complete contradiction to the federal governments for housing reform 25 years prior. In addition to this fact, in the span of 7 years the government has created 500,000 fewer affordable housing units in rural areas all across the nation. This is an average of 35,000 fewer units per year that are intended to help struggling individuals with affordable housing. Which equates to thousands of individuals each year being forced out on the streets, due to the federal government’s intentions of retrieving the money allocated to prevent such injustices.

In closing, if I could change my friends mind about what was happening by the federal government. I could possibly make you see that if we as a society don’t do anything about this, our children may be on the brink of an economic epidemic. If we don’t change the system that is in place the number of homeless Americans will triple by the next 25 years. My friend now understands the severity of the situation do you? And for those that are concerned what are you willing to do to make a change?


Citation:
Western Regional Advocacy Project "When the Federal Government Abandoned Affordable Housing, it Abandoned Millions of Americans to Poverty & Homelessness"April 1, 2006Accessed viaWww.mindfully.org/Reform/2006/Affordable-Housing-Abandoned1apr06.htm
July 30, 2008

James Rogers, "Homelessness, the poor, & local poverty regulation" Re-accessed viawww.reformed.org/webfiles/antithesis/v1n3/ant_v1n3_homeless.html
On July 29, 2008

Kyosuke Yoshida "Homeless in the United States" June, 2, 1995 Accessed viaDwardmac.pitzer.edu/faculty/jkaret/cbny96/ap8kyopap.html - 7k-July 9,2008

Portfolio Essay 3

Life as a single father, it has been a crazy ride but it’s been an amazing experience that I wouldn’t take back for the world. Being a father of a beautiful 5-year-old daughter, I can now say that life has showed me a whole new meaning of joy. The birth of my daughter has given me a whole new perspective of the phrase a “happy home.”

Before my daughter was born I was into drugs, sexual promiscuity & I suffered from a severe case of suicidal thoughts. After my daughter was born it was like my life changed overnight. The things that I was involved in lost the fulfillment that they once gave me. My state of mind went from me, myself & I to us, we & ours. Reality was showing me that no longer could I indulge myself in the activities that were jeopardizing my livelihood. So I vowed that I would make the necessary changes that would insure that I would be around to help raise this person that carried my name.

The pregnancy was an experience I would never forget. It was an emotional roller coaster. I never ate as much as I did during the pregnancy in my life; it was like I was eating for 2 like my girlfriend was. All the late night cravings, sexual increases & momentary arguments seemed to last forever. But it never detoured me from anticipating the arrival of my baby girl.

I could still remember the moment she was born. It was January 11, 2003; the time was 11:17am on a Saturday, exactly 1 week from the death of her great grandmother. I knew that all the stars were aligned for this glorious day. Her mother was in labor for over 32 hours, due to her cervix not thinning the doctor had to induce the labor because my girlfriend was over 2 weeks late & there was a overwhelmingly potential threat of a complicated delivery. It seemed every minute was like an hour. The birth classes & all the books that I read prior to the delivery didn’t prepare me for the moment that it was time for the delivery. I remember doing the breathing exercises with my girlfriend, & looking down towards the doctor & nurses who were with all their tools & instruments, I knew that at any minute I was going to be a father. After about 10 minutes I heard the doctor say push, so I stood up & walked down to the end of the bed. As I approached the end of the bed I heard a scream, not like any scream that I ever heard before. Immediately I knew that the scream that I heard was the scream of my daughter. After the scream I saw this 21-inch, 6 pound 8 ounce infant being carried towards me. All I could do is cry, because when I looked into my daughters eyes I noticed that she looked exactly like my father who died on December 17, 1995, almost 8 years prior. But my cry wasn’t a cry like a cry from morning, but it was a cry as of redemption. I cried for at least 15 minutes, after which I placed her under a heat lamp while the nurse checked her over. We named her Divinity Anne Marie Oliver, a name that I personally choose. Divinity was derived from the suffix Divine meaning “heavenly” The Anne was derived from her grandmother’s middle name, & the Marie was derived from my mother’s middle name.

We stayed in the hospital overnight to make sure that my daughter was all right. The following morning we brought Divinity home. All she did for the next 2-½ weeks was sleep, I never thought that anybody could sleep as much as she did; I mean all she did was eat, sleep & use the bathroom. I tried waking her up on numerous occasions to interact with her, but my attempts were always unsuccessful. After about the 3rd week it seemed like Divinity would sleep during the day, & be awake all night. So our sleep patterns were abruptly restructured. I would sit up with her for hours, looking into her eyes & she would laugh; at times it seemed like for no reason at all. She became my world, I would leave the house & right after I left the door I was rushing back in thinking I missed something important.

This lasted up to Divinity being about 7 months old. That’s when my happy home seemed to disappear. This was due to my girlfriend’s mother wanting Divinity to live with her, so she could be around Divinity. Something I thought would have never had happened, but to my surprise it did. My girlfriend choose moved back to her mother’s house & my happy home seemed to no longer exist. All I could feel was sorrow, anger & resentment. I felt sorrow because I felt like my daughter was being ripped from my arms. I felt anger because I never would of imagined that my girlfriend would allow anything to interfere with our happy home. And I felt resentment because my girlfriend’s mother came & altered the relationship between my daughter & me. To be honest, to this day I still harbor these emotions. I can’t seem to get over the reality that I’m not the father that I always imagined myself to be. I imagined the house with a picket fence, the loving wife & children; you know a real family. But contrary to what I wanted, this was the reality that I was given. The reality was that my child was leaving me, my girlfriend betrayed my trust & I was going to be a “part time” father.

When my girlfriend went back home I was devastated. However I had no idea of the emotional toll this was going to play in my everyday life. For weeks I couldn’t think of anything else but why was this happening to me. I couldn’t visit my daughter for to long because my emotional state was too difficult to contain. I missed my daughter’s 1st word, her 1st steps & all the other stuff that a parent gets to experience. And those memories can never be recaptured. What helped me to adapt to my daughter not being home anymore was mentally disconnecting myself from her. This may sound wrong but the emotional toll that it was taking on me was destroying me. So I had to make the choice that was best for my mental health.

After my daughter moved, my relationship with her mother seemed to leave with them. We split up when my daughter was 10 months old. Our relationship deteriorated for a number of reasons, but mainly because the hurt from her deciding to break up our happy home to please her mother was unforgivable. Our conversation was empty to say the least; the only time we spoke was either for financial support or me requesting to pick Divinity up.

My relationship with my daughter also was strained. Since I wasn’t an everyday figure in her life she didn’t know me. She was timid, quiet & she appeared to be confused about who I was. For a long time I couldn’t handle this but after a few events that occurred during the duration of her life. I learned that I had no control over anything that was happening & as soon as I took this perspective it was like I had an overwhelming amount of peace. Being without her physically didn’t affect me as it had once done before. After much prayer & a lot of patience the Lord mended our relationship, helped me forgive her mother, & taught me how to be the best parent I could be. Now our relationship is great, even though I still don’t get to see her smiling face everyday, I’ve learned to use the time we do get together to show her what life’s about.

In retrospect, writing this essay has brought back a lot of emotions that I forgot about, & some that I tried to forget. But through this essay I’ve learned that the idea of home to me is not dictated by where my daughter is, but it is truly the place that she will always be, in me… Acknowledging this has provided me with the closure that I needed to have to be able to move forward. Although our relationship didn’t work out, I have somewhat forgiven her mother for breaking up what I believed was our happy home. The forgiveness has taken me a long time to do, but everyday we get stronger right? I was asked a question. Is it a home without my daughter? At first I didn’t know how to respond. But in retrospect, looking back at where I’ve come from, to where I am now. I got to say my home has never left abandoned, yes there is a home without my daughter.

Portfolio Final Exam

I agree with the overall conclusion of the passage by Marie Winn entitled “Television: The Plug-In Drug.” The article reads:

"The Ritual is defined by sociologists as ‘that part of family life that the family likes about itself, is proud of and wants formally to continue.’ Another text notes that ‘the development of a ritual by a family is an index of the common interest of its members in the family as a group.’

What has happened to family rituals, those regular, dependable, recurrent happenings that give members of a family a feeling of belonging to a home rather than living in it merely for the sake of convenience, those experiences that act as the adhesive of family unity far more than any material advantages?

Mealtime rituals, going-to-bed rituals, illness rituals, holiday rituals—how many of these have survived the inroads of the television set?"

However, I don’t believe that the idea of television is to blame for the current state of the loss of the classical rituals of family. The rituals of family have declined due to the change in times & our overwhelming commitments in handling our own responsibilities. What I mean by this is, we as a society have abandoned the modern rituals of family because our needs of maintaining our economic responsibilities have become more vital than our perception of the modern traditions views of what it takes to be a family. This includes the time we spend together, the subtle approach we take in approaching each other & the required attention that we need to spend on one another to make us feel like we are a vital piece to the family. The object of “providing” has become the most important issue for us as individuals. I blame this on how the overwhelming stains of society have put a pause on our current state of what is referred to as the traditional family rituals.

In my family, which is really comprised of me, my sister & my mother, this is an unfortunate reality. From the outside, we may look more like individual’s that live together than a strong family unit. However, contrary to what you may see, even though we hardly spend any time talking to each other regarding concerns, issues or even just merely asking how each other’s day was. When we do have an opportunity to be in each other’s presence; it’s as though we actually interacted with each other every day. But the reality is that we haven’t in most cases even said hello in the past few days.

When were at home were in our rooms having our “me” time. Since each of us has intense responsibilities, which consist of work, school & the balance of personal lives. The time we finally get to ourselves, we just want to lie down & do nothing at all. Unfortunately, this even includes taking the time to interact with each other. But we have always had loving relationship; we support each other in every, we help each other & if god forbids something happens to one of us, the family unit is severely damaged by a void that can’t be replaced. This love is why I wouldn’t trade my family for the world, no matter how much we don’t see each other.

In closing, now that I’m a father I have to look at what I feel was an issue with the way I was raised by my family & what I feel needs to be reevaluated for my daughter doesn’t suffer in any way. I want my daughter to know that she is loved, important & special to me; “Because she deserves this.” I also want her to understand that the cost to live in this world is a hefty toll, not just the financial or economically; but the emotional & mental burdens pose a massive threat as well. I think that if I could help her understand this & do the things that I could possibly change from what my family may have lacked or lazed in, she will be a strong well rounded individual & this is what I’m live for.

I believe that the concept that Marie Winn was speaking of in her quote regarding how the modern views of the classical family rituals have been erased. I also have to disagree with her when at the end of her quote she writes, “Mealtime rituals, going-to-bed rituals, illness rituals, holiday rituals—how many of these have survived the inroads of the television set?” To me this is somehow blaming the loss of the core rituals of family on the existence of television. I admit that the television plays a large role in our attention deficiency; it is not the beholder of our everyday commitments. I think that we as individuals have to start here & pin pointing the smaller issues will be much easier.

Essay #3 (Rough Draft)

Life as a single father, it has been a crazy ride but it’s been an amazing experience that I wouldn’t take back for the world. Being a father of a beautiful 5-year-old daughter, I can now say that life has showed me a whole new meaning of joy. The birth of my daughter has given me a whole new perspective of the phrase a "happy home."
Before my daughter was born I was into drugs, sexual promiscuity & I was severely suicidal. After my daughter was born it was like my life changed overnight. The things that I was involved in lost the fulfillment that they once gave me. My state of mind went from me, myself & I to us, we & ours. Reality was no longer could I indulge myself in the activities that were jeopardizing my livelihood. So I vowed that I would make the necessary changes that would insure that I would be around to help raise this person that carried my name.
The pregnancy was an experience I would never forget. It was an emotional roller coaster. I never ate as much as I did during the pregnancy in my life; it was like I was eating for 2 like my girlfriend was. All the late night cravings, sexual increases & momentary arguments seemed to last forever. But it never detoured me from anticipating the arrival of my baby girl.
I could still remember the moment she was born. It was January 11, 2003; the time was 11:17am on a Saturday, exactly 1 week from the death of her great grandmother. I knew that all the stars were aligned for this glorious day. Her mother was in labor for over 32 hours, due to her cervix not thinning the doctor had to induce the labor because my girlfriend was over 2 weeks late & there was a potential threat of a complicated delivery. It seemed every minute was like an hour. The birth classes & all the books that I read prior to the delivery didn’t prepare me for the moment that it was time for the delivery. I remember doing the breathing exercises with my girlfriend, & looking down towards the doctor & nurses who were with all their tools & instruments, I knew that at any minute I was going to be a father. After about 10 minutes I heard the doctor say push, so I stood up & walked down to the end of the bed. As I approached the end of the bed I heard a scream, not like any scream that I ever heard before. Immediately I knew that the scream that I heard was the scream of my daughter. After the scream I saw this 21-inch, 6 pound 8 ounce infant being carried towards me. All I could do is cry, because when I looked into my daughters eyes I noticed that she looked exactly like my father who died on December 17, 1995, almost 8 years prior. But my cry wasn’t a cry like a cry from morning, but it was a cry as of redemption. I cried for at least 15 minutes after which I placed her under a heat lamp, while the nurse checked her over. We named her Divinity Anne Marie Oliver, a name that I personally selected. Divinity was derived from the suffix Divine meaning "heavenly" The Anne was derived from her grandmother’s middle name, & the Marie was derived from my mother’s middle name.
We stayed in the hospital overnight to make sure that my daughter was all right. The following morning we brought Divinity home. All she did for the next 2-½ weeks was sleep, I never thought that anybody could sleep as much as she did, I mean all she did was eat, sleep & use the bathroom. I tried waking her up on numerous occasions just to interact with her, but my attempts were always unsuccessful. After about the 3rd week it seemed like Divinity would sleep during the day, & be awake all night. So our sleep patterns were abruptly restructured. I would sit up with her for hours, looking into her eyes & she would laugh; at times it seemed like for no reason at all. She became my world, I would leave the house & right after I left the door I was rushing back in thinking I missed something important.
This lasted up to Divinity being about 7 months old. That s when my happy home seemed to disappear. This was due to my girlfriend’s mother wanting Divinity to live with her. Something I thought would have never had happened, but to my surprise it did. My girlfriend moved back to her mother’s house & my happy home seemed to no longer exist. All I could feel was sorrow, anger & resentment. I felt sorrow because I felt like my daughter was being ripped from my arms. I felt anger because I never would of imagined that my girl would allow anything to interfere with our happy home. And I felt resentment because my girlfriend’s mother came & altered the relationship between my daughter & me. To be honest, to this day I still harbor these emotions. I can’t seem to get over the reality that I’m not the father that I always imagined myself to be. I imagined the house with a picket fence, the loving wife & children; you know a real family. But contrary to what I wanted this was not reality. Reality was that my child was leaving me, my girlfriend betrayed my trust & I was going to be a "part time" father.
When my girlfriend went back home I was devastated. However I had no idea of the emotional toll this was going to play in my everyday life. For weeks I couldn’t think of anything else but why was this happening to me. I couldn’t visit my daughter for to long because my emotional state was too difficult to contain. I missed my daughter’s 1st word, her 1st steps & all the other stuff that a parent gets to experience. And those memories can never be recaptured. What helped me to adapt to my daughter not being home anymore was mentally disconnecting myself from her. This may sound wrong but the emotional toll that it was taking on me was destroying me. So I had to make the choice that was best for my mental health.
After my daughter moved, my relationship with her mother seemed to leave with her. We split up when my daughter was 10 months old. Our relationship deteriorated for a number of reasons but mainly because the hurt from her deciding to break up our happy home to please her mother was unforgivable. Our conversation was empty to say the least; the only time we spoke was either for financial support or me requesting to pick Divinity up.
My relationship with my daughter also was strained. Since I wasn’t an everyday figure in her life she didn’t know me. She was timid, quiet & she appeared to be confused about who I was. For a long time I couldn’t handle this but after a few events that occurred during the duration of her life. I learned that I had no control over anything that was happening & as soon as I took this perspective it was like I had an overwhelming amount of peace. Being without her physically didn’t affect me as it had once done before. After much prayer & a lot of patience the Lord mended our relationship, helped me forgive her mother, & taught me how to be the best parent I could be. Now our relationship is great, even though I still don’t get to see her smiling face everyday, I’ve learned to use the time we do get together to show her what life’s about.
In retrospect, writing this essay has brought back some emotions that I forgot about, & some that I tried to forget. But through this essay I’ve learned that the idea of home to me is not dictated by where my daughter is, but it is the place that she will always be, in me… Acknowledging this has provided me with the closure that I needed to have to be able to move forward. Although me & her mothers relationship didn’t work out, I have somewhat forgiven her for breaking up our happy home. This has took me along time to do, but everyday we get stronger. I was asked a question. Is it a home without my daughter? At first I didn’t know how to respond. But back at where I’ve come from to where I am now. I got to say my home has never left.

Reflection Letter (Rough Draft)

Michael Oliver
Reflective Letter

Life's:Poetry
I once was told u only live once
Do u believe angels walk
Could the blind c n their dreams
Or could a dream b the portal 2 our 2nd life
If u were anything what would u b
I would b the sun
My light would effect the entire world
Is it just a dream?
At times I think not
At others I struggle with my anointment
Does the Lord c my potential
Deep inside my faith is impenetrable
Yet my shallow flesh is the anvil of my inferiority
As I get older I get older
It is as though wisdom begets my complex
At times I just open my mouth
And as the Lord said he gives me the words 2 speak
Yet I've never spoken n tongue
Maybe I have & it came out n layman's terms
I've suffered through various addictions
And still battle with remorseful relapses
How could a bastard raise his own bastard?
RIP 2 Philip Morris
I know a woman is far from a bitch
But some r closer 2 a disease than Cookie Johnson
My dreams r filled with sacrilegious rederick
As I c my demons they show me my destiny
Distorted religion creates evil premonitions
I've had the honor of entertaining the company of many beautiful women
Yet my luvs' still abandoned & up 4 adoption
As music personifies through my veins
With all the necessary tools
I am without the 1 I need desperately
GOD
But everywhere I go I feel a presence I can't 6th sense
My friends & family become my pre-ordained enemies
Trust no1 becomes my religion
And I'm sub-consciously faithful
I have the ability 2 speak miracles n2 others lives
But I can't deliver myself from a common cold
I'm dying 4 something 2 live 4
What doesn't kill me only makes me live 4
I've heard everything happens 4 a reason & every time has its' season
And the Lord doesn't give u anything more than u can handle
So as the sun rises n the east & sets n the west
I'll stay vigilant until I fulfill my quest
My life is a poem named Life's:Poetry



As you can see coming into writing 101 I had an advantage. I have always had a passion for writing, I’ve been writing poetry for about 10 years now. However, before I entered writing 101 my professional writing lacked structure. What I mean by this is the writing that I wrote for work, school & any other venues that required professional forms of writing my writing was in need of serious development. What I gained from my experience in writing 101 this quarter is how to take both points of views which is referred to as the "they say." And to be able to insert my own point of view which is the referred to as the "I say." Also I’ve learned how to form a thesis statement about a topic that is interesting to me, & by using cited information being successful in effectively making an argument that could potentially open someone’s eyes to a more broad outlook.
Coming into writing 101 I feel that my writing lacked organization. What I mean by organization is my writing lacked constant focus on the main topic. My writing tended to bounce from subject to subject instead of effectively communicating a topic & using each paragraph to relate to what the thesis is. What I learned that helped me overcome this issue was by making a concise thesis statement I was forced to only select information that was pertinent to the topic. For example my 1st essay was titled, "The social epidemic of homelessness & the need for reform," With this being my thesis statement I was forced to only use information that could prove why I felt this was an epidemic in need of reform. Another weakness I had prior to taking writing 101 was topic development. My writing tended to be too shallow; I used to try to talk about everything about a topic instead of maintaining focus on just the topic at hand. What I learned that helped me overcome this issue was by outlining what the essay needed to consist of based on a concise thesis statement, it allowed me to cite the specific information that I needed to only. An example of this would be when the class was asked to choose a topic under the umbrella of "home" I selected homelessness, then we were asked to develop a thesis statement about the topic we selected & cite 3 articles about it. By 1st citing the information prior to writing the essay, it gave me a better understanding on how I wanted to structure my essay.
Now here are some of my strengths that I had coming into writing 101. Being an advent poetry writer I feel as though the way that I articulate a subject is one of my strengths. So translating that strength into professional writing didn’t give me too much of a problem. The way that I articulated the essay after I finally decided on an effective thesis statement I felt was good. An example of this is taken from my essay #2, the thesis was "The basic human rights of many are being taken away by the injustices of the federal government," in this essay I targeted the homeless population, & how the federal government has stopped concentrating on helping them, & how the federal government was in reality increasing the number of homeless Americans by where their attention was focused. Another strength that I had coming into writing 101 was the ability to translate facts to support what I believed. This is possible because I choose topics that interest me, I believe this is vital because if I choose a subject that I’m not interested in how can I effectively get the reader to be interested in something that I’m not feeling. An example of this would be, since the focus of this whole quarter has been the umbrella topic of home. I choose to address homelessness, which is a major social issue to me. So when it came to addressing what the advocates & the critics said on the issue, it was easy for me to take what I learned from both sides & insert my own point of view. The most important strength that I had coming into this quarter was a genuine passion for writing. This made me an ample student; I devoted my attention towards everything that was taught & I implemented it into my work. In the beginning it was hard to lose the poetry structure of writing that I’m accustom to, but when I finally did my writing took on a whole new criteria. I can’t give an example of this, but I will offer you to look at my overall performance this quarter.
In closing I have learned a great deal about writing that I will take with me & use for years to come. I’ve enjoyed being able to see the obvious transition of my writing from the beginning of the quarter to now. I’ve learned that there are effective techniques to writing that could be applied to any form of writing from creative to professional. Using the templates that the text provided, I learned how to effectively separate the "they", from the "I" say in my writing. I also learned how important the thesis statement is to the overall topic & how to use the introduction to seduce the reader into having interest in reading my work. Also by brainstorming or blueprinting my approach on paper it allows me to easily write my paper. Citing the information also makes finding concepts much easier. My overall experience in writing 101 has been fun; it has forced me to question myself & allowed me to take my writing to a more professional level.



Words
The power of words is amazing
We can indulge ourselves with expression
Which word to choose can be tricky
But the end result is addicting
They say knowledge is power
It more like knowledge is a flower
The root word for life
As figurative forms of formation
Compels the most complex word to give it breath
Some words are better left unsaid
While others are the Nile’s of the heart
From bitter or sweet
Every word is unique
Words like love & happiness
R the characteristics of matrimony
But words such as birth & death
Brings to mind the journey of life
We often neglect the existence of the word
Can I be more powerful than my name?
Can u b the epitome of you’re the entitlement luv?
I think not
So were left with this harsh reality
If the words we use hold the essential power
Then why don’t we use them to make a difference in ourselves?

Essay #2

A friend asked me a question as I gave a homeless gentleman holding a sign $5.00. Clearly we could notice this homeless gentleman was suffering from some kind of mental disablity. The sign he was holding read, "I won’t lie, I need a beer," My friend asked me how could I give anybody money who clearly intended to use it to support their alcohol habits. He added to this by saying, "instead of begging for money on a corner, they should be out somewhere trying to get a job & a stable place to live." My response to my friends comment was, "what if the homeless individual had a disability, or some other handicap that prevented them from being productive members of society, as obviously he does?" When I asked my friend this, I could see my friend’s entire demeanor change. He went from an individual with an obvious problem against homeless people, to an individual that looked like he wanted to donate everything he processed to help every homeless person he could. This conversation made me come to the conclusion that, "The basic human rights of many are being taken away by the injustices of the federal government."
Lets look at some of the different segments of the homeless population that are in need of the resources that are currently being eliminated by the federal government. Chronically homeless people are defined as the most troubled of the homeless population, suffering from predominately mental disorders, & have been living on the streets for at least a solid year. One of the most common mental disorders is a disorder known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). This disorder in particular occurs when an individual suffers a major psychological event; such as the death of someone close to him or her, war, or any other event that could potentially be psychologically traumatizing to a person. PTSD causes certain individuals to suffer from acute systems of anxiety, in some known cases hallucinations. And for this disorder in particular scientists have yet to develop a cure. However, PTSD is not the only mental disorder represented by the nation’s homeless population, disorders such as schizophrenia also causes a person not to function effectively in society. Schizophrenia is defined as an psychological disorder that severely impairs a person’s thought processes, perceptions, & causes distorted beliefs. Shockingly, individuals like these are out on the streets with no housing or resources to help them survive. Another segment of the homeless population is the veterans of the nations armed forces. These particular veterans have served in the U.S military, but for various reasons don’t receive the benefits that are offered by the government when their service is over. So in turn they are forced to live on the streets, while they are being processed for benefits, or because their refused benefits by the Federal Veterans Association (VA). Understanding that these segments only account for a portion of the overall population that is currently homeless. Not including the teen runaways that are running from sexually abusive environments, or the single parents that are forced to be homeless due to economic instability.
Here are some statistics I gathered to support the fact that the federal government is eliminating the economic resources that individuals need to help prevent them from being homeless. Or if they are currently homeless, the resources that could potentially help them get their chance at social stability. According to statistics gathered by the Western Regional Advocacy Project the federal government in 1978 appropriated $83 billion dollars in the fiscal budget for maintaining affordable housing for the homeless population. As of 2005 the federal government only appropriated a total of $29 billion dollars, which is 65% less than 18 years prior. In other words, the finances that were allotted to help assist the increasing amount of homeless American’s on the streets has now been cut to less than 45% represented in the current fiscal budget. Examples of these housing resources are sober houses, community housing, FEMA emergency shelter plans, HUD Continuum of care plans, ICH, & other programs that are targeted to help assist individuals that can’t obtain housing due to disabilities, or other uncontrollable ailments by supplying economic assistance. Another staggering fact is that as of 2005 the federal government spent $122 billion dollars on subsidies for the middle-class & affluent homeownership programs, in comparison to 1978 when the federal government only devoted $38 billion dollars, which is approximately $84 billion dollars more. This means that the federal government has directed most of its attention towards individuals/families with substantially higher incomes to receive more support. While causing those whom actually may need more assistance due to they’re deteriorating economic positions to fall by the waste side. To add insult to injury in 2004 61% of the subsidies that were allotted went to households that earned over $57,787.00, while only 20% went to households that earned less than $18,465.00. With a property threshold for households of 4, with 2 minor children was $19,157.00. Thus, over 60% of the subsidies for housing went to households that made over $57,000 dollars, while households that made under $18,500 dollars only received 20% of the assistance, in return pushing more families into homelessness. I’m using these staggering statistics to help you better understand that since 1978 the federal government has cut many resources that could potentially provide housing for thousands of homeless individuals. As well as eliminating the resources that could potentially be preventative to the increasing amount of households that are currently being forced to make living on the streets a reality.
Since the 1970’s the federal government has required communities to summit competitive applications for federal largesse, giving the impression that this approach could effectively address the issue of homelessness with the grant amounts provided. However, in return for the grants giving, the feds would have to devote a majority of the money back to the federal government. This has to be one of the most underhanded, acts of betrayal I have ever encountered. To think that while the federal government is writing these grants in intentions of redirecting the rise in homelessness, they’re secreting basing the approval of these grants contingent on receiving majority of the grant capital back. This is a complete contradiction to the federal governments’ appeal for solving the homeless housing epidemic over 25 years ago. In addition to this fact, in the span of 7 years the government has created 500,000 fewer affordable housing units in rural areas all across the nation. This is an average of 35,000 fewer units per year that are intended to assist struggling individuals/families with affordable housing. Which equates to thousands of individuals each year being forced out on the streets, due to the federal government’s intentions of retrieving the money allocated to prevent such cases.
Now lets turn our attention towards the overwhelming evidence that proves that we as a nation have abandoned our commitment to funding federal housing programs. Since the 1970’s the federal government has deemed thousands of governmental housing developments closed. But in actuality there are a lot of these developments that are still in livable condition. The reason that this information is pertinent to my argument is because in some instances the federal governments’ only rational for closing these developments was due to the communities out poor for better neighborhoods. In other circumstances the communities have refused to pay for governmental housing assistance, thus forcing many other developments to be closed. So the reality is that we as society have contributed to the elimination of some of the resources necessary to help prevent thousands of individuals each year from becoming homeless. The idea that there is housing available that is/was funded by the federal government, & on a corner at the end of the same block there is a homeless man holding a sign such as the homeless man I encountered earlier in the introduction is a travesty. What does this say about our human rights? If my annual income or my social status somehow justifies the amount of rights I have as an American citizen, or better yet as a human being. Then what is the point in having the U.S Constitution, or any of the numerous Amendments that have been established to prevent injustices such as these?
In retrospect if we as a society use our voice to redirect the direction of the federal government, then the resources that were effectively outlined in the 1978 policy could be reinstated. Failure to do so will only widen the range of individuals we encounter on corners in our communities. I understand that not every deserves an opportunity at housing, due to lack of motivation, & level of responsibility. But for those individuals that are fighting to achieve economic stability, but lack the resources to make this a reality, what can do we say about them? No we can’t save everybody, but if we as a society can’t save 1 person from being homeless how much have we truly accomplished? I have outlined many facts regarding the change in our governments approach to rectifying the issue, but the reality is if don’t do something immediately the cost can be catastrophic. In closing, the basic human rights of all of us are being secretly taking away at every moment; this includes financial resources & housing. We have to do something now or it’ll be to late.



Citation:
Western Regional Advocacy Project "When the Federal Government Abandoned Affordable Housing, it Abandoned Millions of Americans to Poverty & Homelessness"
April 1, 2006
Accessed via
Www.mindfully.org/Reform/2006/Affordable-Housing-Abandoned1apr06.htm
July 30, 2008
James Rogers, "Homelessness, the poor, & local poverty regulation" Re-accessed viawww.reformed.org/webfiles/antithesis/v1n3/ant_v1n3_homeless.htmlOn July 29, 2008
Kyosuke Yoshida "Homeless in the United States" June, 2, 1995 Accessed via
Dwardmac.pitzer.edu/faculty/jkaret/cbny96/ap8kyopap.html - 7k-July 9,2008

Strengths:
Creative ways of formulating the topic
Attention to detail
Good organizational ability
Ability to think outside the box
Innovative concepts of expressing the topic

Weaknesses:
Poor punctuation
Limited ability to destinguish opinion (cluttering)
Poor grammerical ability
Lack of ability to determine what facts are important & which are not
No specific structure of writing (free writing)