Essay #2 (Rough Draft)
A friend asked me a question as I gave a homeless gentleman holding a sign $5.00. The sign read, “I won’t lie, I need a beer,” my friend asked me how could I give anybody money who clearly intended to use it to support their alcohol habits. He added to this by saying, “instead of begging for money on a corner, they should be out somewhere trying to get a job & a stable place to stay.” My response to my friends comment was, “what if the homeless individual had a disability, or some other handicap that prevented them from being productive members of society?” When I asked this, I could see my friend’s entire demeanor change. He went from an individual with an obvious problem against homeless people. To an individual that looked as though he wanted to donate everything he processed to help every homeless person he could. This conversation made me come to the conclusion that, “
According to statistics gathered by the Western Regional Advocacy Project the federal government in 1978 appropriated $83 billion dollars in the fiscal budget for maintaining affordable housing for the homeless population. As of 2005 the federal government only appropriated a total of $29 billion dollars, which is 65% less than 18 years prior. Another staggering fact is that as of 2005 the federal government spent $122 billion dollars on subsidies for the middle-class & affluent homeownership programs, in comparison to 1978 when the federal government only devoted $38 billion dollars, which is approximately $84 billion dollars more. To add insult to injury in 2004 61% of the subsidies that were allotted went to households that earned over $57,787.00, while only 20% went to households that earned less than $18,465.00. With a property threshold for households of 4, with 2 minor children was $19,157.00. I’m using these staggering statistics to help better understand that since 1978 the federal government has cut resources that could potentially provide housing for thousands of homeless individuals across the country.
Since the 1970’s the federal government has deemed thousands of governmental housing developments closed. But in actuality there are a lot of these developments that are still in livable condition. The idea that there is housing available that is/was funded by the federal government, & on a corner at the end of the same block there is a homeless man holding a sign such as the homeless man I encountered earlier in the introduction. What does this say about our human rights? If my annual income or my social status justified the amount of rights I have as a American citizen, or better yet as a human being, then what is the point in having the U.S Constitution, or any of the numerous Amendments that has been established to prevent injustices such as this…
According to statistics gathered by the Western Regional Advocacy Project the federal government in 1978 appropriated $83 billion dollars in the fiscal budget for maintaining affordable housing for the homeless population. As of 2005 the federal government only appropriated a total of $29 billion dollars, which is 65% less than 18 years prior. Another staggering fact is that as of 2005 the federal government spent $122 billion dollars on subsidies for the middle-class & affluent homeownership programs, in comparison to 1978 when the federal government only devoted $38 billion dollars, which is approximately $84 billion dollars more. To add insult to injury in 2004 61% of the subsidies that were allotted went to households that earned over $57,787.00, while only 20% went to households that earned less than $18,465.00. With a property threshold for households of 4, with 2 minor children was $19,157.00. I’m using these staggering statistics to help better understand that since 1978 the federal government has cut resources that could potentially provide housing for thousands of homeless individuals across the country.
Since the 1970’s the federal government has deemed thousands of governmental housing developments closed. But in actuality there are a lot of these developments that are still in livable condition. The idea that there is housing available that is/was funded by the federal government, & on a corner at the end of the same block there is a homeless man holding a sign such as the homeless man I encountered earlier in the introduction. What does this say about our human rights? If my annual income or my social status justified the amount of rights I have as a American citizen, or better yet as a human being, then what is the point in having the U.S Constitution, or any of the numerous Amendments that has been established to prevent injustices such as this…
posted by Michael Oliver | 11:32 AM
3 Comments:
Great intro!!!
" He went from an individual with an obvious problem against homeless people. To an individual that looked as though he wanted to donate everything he processed to help every homeless person he could." you need a comma between people & to or different wording to make it 2 sentences.
What was your conclusion?
Your second paragraph is like spanish to me, I understand some words, but for the most part, I have no idea what you're saying.
In the last paragraph it seems like you're saying the government should give condemned housing to homeless people to get them off the street. I don't think the government would want to waste money by closing housing they built for no reason and even if they did (which you'd have to prove somehow), why would they just GIVE it to some homeless person when there are millions of needy families on waiting lists to get into some kind of housing? I'm not saying homeless don't deserve housing as well, but it's hard for me as the reader to sympathize with a pan-handling alcoholic. Your intro grabbed my attention in the beginning but it turned me off to your argument in the end... Hope this helps.
Good intro. It has an attention grabber, and shows your argument. (remember the first letter after the quotes is capitalized.)
You need to make it a little longer... I don't know if this is all you have or its just your conclusion and intro.
Good Facts, but you need to list your sources of where you got them from
If the first "two" paragraphs are supposed to be the intro, then i think its a little to long. You should some how split it into two paragraphs.
Good start, and I love the topic
The attention getter is great, but some poor punctuation negatively impacts that. Read it aloud, pausing at each punctuation mark, and you will catch most of the errors.
YOUR voice needs to be in the topic sentences for each paragraph. If you have source material in there, you are relying on the sources to make your point.
There is no conclusion yet...
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